


Addiction

by elizvw



Category: Elizabeth Keen & Donald Ressler - Fandom, The Blacklist
Genre: Addiction, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Nightmares, Partners to Lovers, Partners to More, Slow Burn, Smut, Withdrawal, friends - Freeform, partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:07:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27474025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizvw/pseuds/elizvw
Summary: Set during and after "The Mombasa Cartel"In the aftermath of Ressler's abduction in Alaska, Liz finds his pills. She finally understands why he had been so on edge as of late. Instead of pushing her away, Ressler lets her take care of him. She helps him through his withdrawal and they begin to grow closer in the process.
Relationships: Elizabeth Keen/Donald Ressler
Comments: 1
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work that I have published. Feel free to leave comments or suggestions :)

Liz had noticed Ressler’s behavior lately. He had been on edge, late several mornings, and his reaction time had been crap when they were in Moscow. She was worried about him. He was her partner, after all, she needed to know that he would be able to have her back in the field. At first, she had thought his change in behavior had been because he was still dealing with the loss of Audrey, but something else was going on. Deep down she knew what it was, she just refused to even consider the possibility.

Reddington had given them the Mombasa Cartel as their next Blacklister. They had tracked down a lead in Alaska and Cooper sent Ressler to check it out. Usually, they went together, being partners, but it wasn’t a serious lead. Liz had to put her concerns for Ressler aside for the moment so they could figure out this case. But her concern shot through the roof when he fell out of contact with the team. Whenever he went to check out a lead by himself, even if he didn’t need to do a check-in, he always texted or called Liz, and Liz did the same. It was like an unspoken agreement between them. The task force geared up and flew to Alaska to get their team member back as soon as they could. They even went on Red’s jet so they could get there faster.  
When they finally arrived, it took about an hour to finally find Ressler, causing Liz’s anxiety to be through the roof the whole time. Ressler had finally warmed up to her and they depended on each other a lot. They didn’t talk about it, but the trust was there and she didn’t know what she’d do without him. As Alaska search and rescue looked for Ressler, the task force and CSI combed through the house. Liz was looking at something when the sight of Ressler’s gun and badge caught her eye. As she walked over she saw something else--a pill bottle of Oxycontin with his name on it. Liz sighed, everything made sense now. She quickly opened the bottle to see how many were left. Four were left out of a prescription of 15, filled that morning. She quickly slipped the pills into her pocket so no one else would see them. She walked outside to wait for search and rescue to return with her partner. It seemed like it took forever until she saw his familiar ginger hair slowly emerging from the trees. Liz grabbed a blanket from the ambulance and ran over to him, wrapping him up the same way he had wrapped her up after the Stewmaker.  
Ressler breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Liz. He knew they would find him, he just didn’t know if he would be dead by then or not. Ressler let Liz wrap him up in a blanket and wrap her arm around his shoulder. He didn’t like people all that much and he was glad to be rid of the search and rescue guy that had led him out of the woods. He had kept his head up and walked mostly by himself until he saw her. He leaned against her gratefully and let her walk him to the ambulance and set him down.

“I’ll let the paramedics patch you up and I’ll be back in a little bit, okay?” Liz decided not to show him the pills until they were alone. She didn’t want to embarrass him or risk the paramedic disclosing the pills on any reports.

“Okay,” Ressler rasped out, looking up at her. He was grateful that she didn’t baby him the way the search and rescue people did. Although, if he were honest, he wouldn’t be mad if she was gentle with him at that moment. He wouldn’t ask her to stay with him though.  
The paramedic grabbed the supplies from the back of the ambulance and approached him.

“I really didn’t get all that hurt” Ressler gruffed out. He didn’t like doctors or anything of the sort.

“C’mon man you know I gotta treat you” the paramedic responded.

“Yeah...I know” he sighed. Didn’t mean he would be all that compliant.  
The paramedic attempted to do his work, but Ressler gave him a tough time. He barely allowed the paramedic to bandage any of his wounds without snapping at him. Finally, the paramedic had enough and decided to get someone who could get Ressler to allow the paramedic to treat him. He walked over to the nearest person that had an FBI jacket on.

“Agent, this guy is being difficult and I gotta treat him. Think you can help me out?”  
Samar turned around, motioning for the Alaskan agent to give her just a moment. She looked over at Ressler and gave a small smile.

“I don’t think I’m the best person to help. Agent Keen can help though, She’s his partner--the one who walked him over to the ambulance. I’m sure she would be helpful.”

“Alright, thank you, ma’am.” The paramedic sighed and went to go find this lady agent to help.  
Samar watched the paramedic walk into the house, chuckling a little. If anyone would get Ressler to be compliant, it was Liz. Though she didn’t look like it, Liz could be intimidating.

Liz was watching as the Alaska CSI cataloged everything in the house when she heard someone approach her.

“Agent Keen?”

Liz turned around to see the paramedic that was treating Ressler giving her a defeated look.

“Let me guess, he’s giving you a hard time?”

“Yes. I just need someone to try and get him to let me treat his wounds. They need to be bandaged and he won’t let me get anything done.”

Liz nodded her head and followed the paramedic over to the ambulance.

Ressler looked up to see the paramedic and Liz walking toward him. She wore an agitated look.

“Really? You couldn’t handle a little criticism so you went and got my partner?” Ressler rolled his eyes at the guy.

“Ressler, let him treat you.” Liz looked at him in the eyes and gave him the look she gives him when he does some bullshit like this.

“No. I don’t need to be treated. Especially by someone who has to go get my partner just to try and treat me.” He glared at the paramedic.

Liz nodded her head at the paramedic, indicating that she would take care of it. The paramedic didn’t say anything. He was absolutely fine with her handling the situation.  
Liz sat down beside him. “What if I bandaged you up?” she asked him quietly, nudging his shoulder a little bit.

Ressler glanced over at her. He knew that she wouldn’t let him go anywhere if he didn’t get taken care of. “Fine” he gave her a small smile despite the gruffness of his response to let her know that he was grateful.

Liz grabbed the rolled gauze that the paramedic had abandoned beside him and began wrapping and cleaning his cuts. When she was done, without a single word from him, she reached into her pocket and grabbed the pills. Ressler looked up at her and saw the bottle in her hand, his eyes growing wide, the panic set in.


	2. Chapter 2

_Ressler looked up at her and saw the bottle in her hand, his eyes growing wide, the panic set in._

He quickly grabbed the pills from her hand and shoved them in his pocket. Ressler hung his head in shame. He hadn’t wanted anyone to know that he had quickly become addicted to the Oxycontin he was prescribed, especially his partner. He didn’t want Liz to know that he was too weak to fight his addiction, let alone allow himself to become addicted in the first place. Ressler rubbed his face. The months of addiction that he had been helpless to hit him all at once and he couldn’t hold back his tears.

“C’mon. Let’s get you into the ambulance. They’re going to have to treat you for dehydration. I’ll get you out as soon as they let me.” Liz got Ressler up and into the back of the ambulance, shutting the door behind her. When they got seated, she ran her fingers through Ressler’s hair, trying to get him to calm down. He had worked himself up to the point he was almost hyperventilating.

“It’s going to be okay, Ress. We’re going to get through this, I promise.” Resser leaned into Liz and let her continue to run her fingers through his hair. She had this uncanny ability to calm him down. It didn’t matter the situation, she just somehow knew what to do to help him. He wasn’t sure if he had ever told her that his mother used to run her fingers through his hair as a child when he had a nightmare. He didn’t think he had but he didn’t care, it was comforting for him.

“I guess this means I have to tell Cooper?” Ressler’s voice cracked. This job was all he had and the possibility of losing it sent him into a panic attack.

“Shh, it’s okay. I didn’t plan on telling him, but if you feel like that is something you want to do, then we can do that.” Liz continued running her fingers through his hair, looking at him to see his reaction.

Ressler shook his head vigorously, wiping at the tears falling down his face, his breathing still a little erratic from the brief panic attack. He was glad that Liz was here with him. With all the thoughts running through his head at the moment, he was sure he would’ve had a complete meltdown if she hadn’t been there to calm him down.

“It's going to be okay, I promise.” Liz was glad Ressler was letting her be there for him. This was something she would’ve expected him to do on his own, pushing her away in the process.

“Please don’t let them give me any narcotics. I don’t think I’m strong enough to turn them down right now. I’m weak,” Ressler was ashamed of himself. More than he had ever been in his entire life. But Liz had already seen him cry and there wasn’t much else he was more ashamed of. He would just have to accept that.

“Ressler, look at me right now.” When he wouldn't look at her, she put her hand on his chin and forced him to look her in the eyes.

“You are not weak. I would never think that, okay? Things happen. You got shot in the leg for God’s sake and then you lost the one person you care about in this world. I’m not going to judge you for experiencing so much pain that you had to find a way to not feel it. Of all people, you should know that I understand what it feels like to have so much pain in your life. I’m not going to let you go through this alone, and I’m not going to let you push me away, okay? I am here with you.” Liz could only hope that the conviction in her words and the fire in her eyes was enough to get through to him. Ressler nodded, not trusting his voice at that moment. He was so emotional and she had just told him that he wouldn’t be alone in this. Everything was just too much for him.

“Thank you,” he whispered, as the tears started up again. Liz smiled at him and continued to run her fingers through his hair, watching as the faintest of smiles crossed his face. She had figured that her strategy would work to calm him down and he seemed to enjoy it.

They felt the ambulance come to a stop. The paramedic came around and opened the door to let them know they had arrived at the hospital. Liz stood up and got Ressler up and out of the ambulance, walking with him to intake.

“Ma’am, are you related to the patient? If you’re not, I can’t let you back there.”

Ressler looked up at Liz with panic in his eyes. He really couldn’t do this alone right now, and she was his lifeline right then.

“I’m his partner. I’m going back there with him.” Liz flashed her badge at the nurse.

“Ma’am I-”

“This man was just kidnapped and hunted through the woods for six hours, he was traumatized, and barely survived his hunters when I finally found him. You are going to let me go back there, or I’m going to find some reason to arrest you and anybody else that stands in my way. And don’t think for a second that's a threat, because it's not. It's a promise.” Liz gave the nurse a look that said ‘please call my bluff. Try me.’

“Yes, Ma’am. Let me take his vitals and I will show you to a room.”

“Thank you” Liz huffed. Jeez, what did it take for hospitals to let someone take care of their partner?

Thirty minutes later, Ressler was in a room, dressed in a hospital gown with Liz sitting in the chair beside him. She was texting Cooper an update when the doctor walked in.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Sanders. I understand that you've had quite a traumatizing day Agent Ressler.” The doctor gave both of them a small smile.

“I think that might be an understatement.”

“Yes, well your tests say that your vital signs are normal for someone having just experienced trauma. It doesn’t look like you were drugged with anything, no major injuries, just a little dehydration, which we are working on. I fully expect you to make a full recovery and be back on the job at full strength in about a week. You are probably experiencing some pain. It does seem that you have several bruises on your arms and a couple of contusions on your legs and one on your back. I expect you to experience some pain for a couple of days. I’m going to give you a shot for the pain and send you home with a week’s supply of Oxycontin.”

Ressler panicked and looked over at Liz. “No narcotics, doctor,” Liz told the doctor. She became annoyed when he didn’t even look up from the chart at her.

“I’ll write a notification for the Bureau, you can give it to your Boss. Everything will be documented.”

“Hey! I said no narcotics. That doesn’t mean ‘He needs a doctor’s note for his boss’ it means no narcotics.” 

The doctor looked up at Liz, “Yes ma’am. No narcotics. I will make a note of that in the chart and tell the nurse.” The doctor left the room quickly, ready to get away from Liz’s wrath.

Ressler breathed a sigh of relief that he was gone, looking over at Liz who had sat down with a magazine as if nothing had happened.

“Does it not bother you? Me becoming addicted to Oxys?” Ressler asked her quietly, still ashamed.

“No, it doesn’t. I feel guilty that I didn’t follow my gut and try to step in when I noticed the signs. And there’s nothing you can do or say about that. I wish you had been able to come to me about this. But I understand you enough that you didn’t feel like you could. I’m not upset about it though,” Liz gave him a small smile, hoping he would understand what she was saying.

“C’mon Liz, you know me. I couldn’t come to you because I was too ashamed of myself.”

“I know Ress, I know. Red offered to fly us back on his jet so I could get you home faster. I didn’t tell him about the Oxy, but he is concerned for you and feels that we would benefit from not having to fly commercial. I took him up on the offer. The team is at the airport right now boarding to get home.”

“For once in the time that we have been working with him, I am glad that he is around. I just want to get home.”

“I know you are. I’m going to go to take you to your house so I can make sure there aren’t any pills there and then I'll give you some space if you want it. But if not, you can call me or tell me you don’t want any space,” Liz shrugged her shoulders at the last part, letting him know he had the option and she was fine with it either way. She could take him to her apartment and let him stay there but she figured he would be more comfortable in his own space.

Ressler nodded, trying to keep his face as stoic as possible. He didn't want to be alone but he knew she was probably ready to be home. Asking her to stay with him was probably too much to ask. 


	3. Chapter 3

Four hours later, Liz and Ressler were on Red’s jet, flying home. Red had been kind enough to limit the staff on his plane and let them fly home by themselves--something that he knew the agents would appreciate.

Ressler sat next to Liz, enjoying the comfort she had brought him since he had been pulled from the woods. He just needed to feel comfortable and safe right then and she was the embodiment of those words for him. He let himself relax for the first time since he had been taken and eventually he fell asleep, leaning against Liz for support.

Liz felt a small pressure on her arm and looked up from the report she was filling out to see that Ressler had fallen asleep. He was leaning against her arm for support and she smiled, knowing that he felt comfortable enough to fall asleep next to her. Usually, it was the other way around--she was the one that fell asleep on the plane while he filled out the reports. She continued filling out the reports, figuring she had another couple of hours to go until she got home. She would rather fill them out now instead of putting them off like she usually did.

Liz had just finished her report when she felt Ressler flinch, hearing a whimper from him. She figured he was having a nightmare. Instead of trying to wake him up, she simply put her hand on the back of his neck and began to stroke his hair. At first, he calmed down a little bit but then he began to jerk around. She tried to continue running her fingers through his hair but soon he began to yell out “No!” and she knew she was going to have to wake him up. She also knew that it probably wasn’t a good idea to let him be by himself tonight.

Liz gently stood up and grabbed Ressler’s shoulders, calling his name. She shook his shoulders a little bit because he wasn’t coming out of the nightmare and it seemed to be getting worse.

“C’mon Ressler, wake up! Wake up!” Liz thought for a moment and grabbed his hands in case he woke up swinging. She tried again, a little louder. Ressler woke with a gasp, confused, and panicked.

“It's okay, you’re with me. It's okay.” Liz soothed him, running her fingers through his hair again. He sighed and rested his head against her stomach for a moment while he calmed himself down, making himself focus on Liz’s hand in his hair.

“Yanno, my mother used to do the same thing when I had a nightmare. It would calm me down enough to go back to sleep. I’m not even sure that I told Audrey that. No one else has done it since I lived at home.” Ressler wasn’t sure why he was allowing himself to be so open with her. But he figured it was because she had found his pills and saw him at one of his lowest moments. He was oddly okay with it.

“I had no idea. I kinda figured it would calm you down though.”

“Really? Why’s that?”

“Well whenever you get stressed out, you run your hand through your hair a couple times. I kinda figured it was something that you did subconsciously and must’ve picked up from somewhere else.” Liz chuckled a little bit at herself, picking up on all the little things.

“I guess I never realized that I did that.”

Ressler leaned back in his seat and Liz sat down beside him. She didn’t say anything to him, not wanting to push him. She wasn’t going to ask what his nightmare was about, although she had an idea of what it was. If he wanted to tell her, he would. She was nodding off to sleep when she heard him clear his throat.

“Thank you for not asking,” Ressler glanced over at her.

“You’ll tell me if you want to, I trust that. And I’m okay if you don’t tell me,” she smiled at him.

“Excuse me Agent Keen, Ressler. I’ve come to inform you that we’ll be landing in ten minutes. I’m sure you are both ready to be home. I have arranged a car to take you to Agent Ressler’s apartment, and Mr. Reddington had Mr. Kaplan gather a bag for you of clothes and other toiletries that will be in the car.” The flight attendant smiled at them and walked back to the cabin.

“Well, that was rather presumptuous of Reddington. I’ll just have the car take me home after we get you settled in.”

“Oh..okay. Yeah, yeah” Ressler tried to hide the disappointment on his face. He didn’t really want to be alone for a couple days but he didn’t want to put Keen in a tough spot. And it didn’t seem like she was up to the idea of staying at his apartment.

“Ress?”

“Yeah?” Ressler looked over at her.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” She asked him gently, not wanting to offend him. She knew he could take care of himself.

“Please. I’m not ready to be alone right now,” he couldn’t look her in the eyes. He hated admitting weakness, and he hated how vulnerable he felt. But the fact was that he didn’t want to be alone right now, too afraid of what he might do without his Oxycontin.

“Of course.” She smiled at him. Ressler nodded and breathed a sigh of relief knowing he wouldn’t have to be alone in his apartment tonight. He really didn’t think he could do it.

The plane came to a halt at the private airport and the small crew began to deplane the two tired agents. As promised, a car was sitting there waiting on the tarmac to take them to Ressler’s house. When they got into the car, they saw that Dembe was driving. Liz was grateful for that as she knew that Dembe was trustworthy and would have no problem getting them to Ressler’s house.

“Agent Ressler, glad to see you are okay. We would hate to lose you. I personally want to thank you for helping us take down the Mombasa Cartel. I was their slave for 10 years of my life and I am glad to see them destroyed. Raymond gave me a, as he put it, “we are glad that you are alive” gift to give to you. And I have a plant for you, as my thanks.” Dembe, a man of very few words, smiled at Ressler and gave him a small nod.

“Thank you Dembe, I appreciate that. My plant in my apartment just died, this will be a good replacement.”

“Yes, I know.” Ressler didn’t even ask how he knew. He was too tired to care. He looked down at the black box in his hand, grabbing the lid and pulling it off.

“Wow. This is fantastic Dembe, you’ll have to give Reddington my thanks.” Ressler showed the box to Liz. It was a bottle of his favorite whiskey. Top shelf stuff, honestly. It was something he didn’t often buy for himself because it was so expensive.

“This is very nice of both of you,” Liz smiled at Ressler and then at Dembe. They arrived at Ressler’s apartment in record time. Dembe parked in the parking lot and turned the car off. He got out and grabbed Liz’s bag from the trunk and then helped Liz get Ressler up to his apartment.

“I would like you to make a list of groceries that the two of you will require for the next week. I will bring them in the morning for you. Mr. Kaplan would also like you to make a list of anything else you will need from your apartment, Liz, so she can give it to me to bring tomorrow. Here is the number for Baz, so you can reach him. Raymond will have business to attend to tomorrow but Baz will be here if you need anything else.”

Liz nodded and went about trying to get everything in order. Dembe moved into the living room and got Ressler to sit onto the couch and got him some water to drink. Liz ran around the kitchen looking to see what Ressler had and didn’t have so she could make the list for Dembe. She saw Dembe come into the kitchen and approach her.

“I know about Donald’s trouble with the Oxycontin. Raymond doesn’t know. A part of my responsibility is keeping tabs on everyone on the task force. I have a friend at the pharmacy that Donald uses. I chose not to tell Raymond or anyone else because I felt like that was something that he should figure out for himself without intervention from Raymond. I presume that you know. I will bring back some items that Raymond used to treat me after my time in the Mombasa Cartel.” Dembe looked over at Ressler to see if he heard. But Ressler wasn’t paying any attention.

“I’m really not surprised that Red has you keeping tabs on all of us. But thank you for not telling him. I haven’t really had the time to think about him withdrawing. I’m not even sure how bad it is, he hasn’t said and I haven’t asked.” Liz sighed and shook her head at her own thoughtlessness.

“Elizabeth...It has gotten worse in the last month. I’m afraid that you won’t have an easy time with this. It will be hard for him.”

Liz nodded her head solemnly. She finished her list and handed it to Dembe.

“I will go to the pharmacy down the street and bring you some items that will be helpful. I will bring the other items in the morning before Raymond and I leave town.” Dembe turned and walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

“Dembe is going to bring me some things that will help you when you start to come down and experience withdrawal. He knows about the Oxycontin. I didn’t tell him, but he has tabs on everyone on the task force and a friend at your pharmacy alerted him to your situation a couple months ago. He chose not to tell Reddington because he wanted to let you keep that to yourself. I’m sorry.”

Ressler looked at her with panic. Her knowing was enough for him. He was glad though that Dembe didn’t tell Reddington. He didn’t want the criminal holding that over his head.

“Of course he does. God Damnit. I can’t even have a private life.”

Liz nodded her head. “But it's Dembe though. Would you rather Reddington know?”

Ressler sighed, “No, definitely not.”

“Why don’t you take a shower and I will wait for Dembe to get back and then we can go from there. Okay?” Liz nodded her head at him to let him know this was not a discussion.

“Yeah, okay. That will probably be nice.” Ressler slowly got up from the couch. He was already starting to feel the pain from running through the woods. Ressler made his way to the bathroom, Liz following behind him. She knew that he might need a little help getting undressed, the soreness and pain already settling in. She grabbed his sweatshirt and pulled it over his head gently, throwing it on the floor to be washed later. She grabbed the bottom of his long-sleeve next, pulling that over his head, and threw it in the pile of clothes that was forming beside them.

“Sit down, let me take your shoes,” Liz told him firmly, leaving no room for discussion. Once he was sitting down, Liz kneeled down and undid the laces on his boots. She pulled them off along with his socks. She could see dark purple bruises on the bottom of his legs and looked up to see similar bruises on his stomach and shoulders. She had never seen him without a shirt and was very appreciative of the view she was met with. 

“I’ll leave you to your pants.” Liz left the bathroom and closed the door behind her, hearing the water turn on as she left. She threw the clothes in Ressler’s washing machine and went to the living room to wait on Dembe’s return.


	4. Chapter 4

Ressler sat in his shower and let the hot water run over him. It helped relax his aching and tired muscles. He recalled Liz undressing him and it made him shiver just a little, despite the heat of the water. It was such a sweet and simple gesture, yet it sent goosebumps up his spine to watch her undress him. Leave it to his mind to turn a sweet gesture into something somewhat sexual. But Liz was definitely not unattractive, so it was somewhat understandable. He shook the thought from his head and stood up, grabbing the shampoo and lathering up his hair, wishing he could feel the comfort of Liz’s hands running through his hair again. He washed his body off quickly and turned the water off, grabbing his towel from the rack. Once he had dried off enough, he brushed his teeth and stepped out of the bathroom with the towel around his waist. 

Liz heard the bathroom door unlock and looked up from the tea she was making. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of Ressler, hair still damp, towel around his waist. She hadn’t taken the time to fully look at him earlier when she took his shirt off but she took the time now. His shoulders were broad, his chest was nice and muscular, and he had abs for days. She didn’t see all his previous scars earlier but she did now. There were several and it made her wonder what they were from. She noticed the way his muscles rippled when he moved his arm up to scratch his head.

“Keen?”

“Yeah?”

“What is it? You’re staring.”

“Sorry, I just didn’t notice all the bruises earlier. It's just very unsettling to me.” She lied through her teeth. Well...she supposed it wasn’t a total lie. It was very unsettling to know what he had been through out there in those woods. But that's definitely not why she was staring. She hoped the blush on her face wasn’t too noticeable. 

“They’ll go away soon. Just going to be a little sore until then,” he looked at her as she nodded.

Liz moved from the kitchen with her tea as Ressler walked into his bedroom. He emerged a few minutes later in a pair of sweats and a loose t-shirt. She looked up and saw the blankets and pillow he was carrying. 

“I brought these for you. Hopefully, it will make the couch more comfortable. I’d offer to take the couch, but I don’t think that would be the best thing for me right now.” He chuckled a little bit. He felt bad for leaving her to the couch but he knew that right now there was no way he’d be able to sleep there tonight.

“No of course. I wouldn’t have let you sleep on the couch anyway. Are you ready for bed now or are you not ready for that yet?” Liz asked him.

“I think I’m ready to sleep. Hopefully, I can do so peacefully.” Ressler was on his way back to his bedroom when he stopped and turned out.

“Hey Liz...thank you. For everything.” Ressler gave a small smile as she turned around to see him.

Liz smiled back at him, “Get some sleep. I’ll be out here if you need anything.”

Ressler nodded at her and closed the door to his bedroom. He laid in his bed, thinking about the day. It wasn’t long before he felt his eyes begin to droop.

Liz sat on the couch, drinking her tea and waiting for Dembe to return. She had been drifting in her own thoughts when she heard the door open.

“Dembe...what should I expect from the withdrawal? How bad will it be? I’ve never dealt with this before. I know he doesn't want anyone to know but I can't help but feel that I’m not qualified enough to help him” Liz gave Dembe a worried look.

“The first two or three days are usually the worst but it will probably be bad for a few more days for Donald. There will be nightmares. He’s going to be very on edge, and then he will get angry because he can’t have the pills, and then he will eventually accept the fact that he has no more to take, and that leads to the emotional breakdown. This is not going to occur over the course of a few days. You will likely see this reaction in a short span each day until he begins to work through the withdrawal. And after he has worked through the worst of it, you will probably see depression, shame, and guilt for his actions. He will beg for you to give him one las-”

Dembe was cut off by the sound of Ressler shrieking. 

Dembe and Liz both ran to Ressler’s bedroom. Ressler was thrashing in his bed, the sheets tangling in his limbs. 

“Ressler! Ressler c’mon honey you gotta wake up.” Liz tried shaking him like she did on the plane but forgot to grab his arms to make sure he didn’t accidentally hit her. That was a mistake that she paid for.

Ressler gasped and came out of his nightmare, feeling his fist and elbow connect with an object. Then he felt stronger arms grabbing his hands. When he finally came out of the fog of the nightmare, he saw Dembe above him holding his hands.

“Dembe?” Ressler looked around and saw Liz out cold on the floor. “Oh God, what did I do?” Ressler got off his bed to go to Liz.

“Liz? Liz, I’m so sorry” Ressler cried. He had never meant to hurt his partner. He hadn’t meant to put her in danger. That's what he did the whole time he hid his addiction and now he was still hurting her.

“Let's get her to the couch and get some ice on her head.” Dembe knelt down to pick Liz up gently. She was still passed out from the blow to her head from Ressler’s elbow.

“Dembe, I never meant to hurt her. I was...I was having a nightmare.” 

“It is okay Donald, she will be fine. She understands that now is a rough time for you. How long has it been since you last used?”

“Since right before I was taken in Alaska. I’m feeling pretty shitty to tell you the truth.”

“Yes, I know that feeling. It will get better, I promise you. But it's going to get worse before it gets better.”

“You were addicted?..” Ressler looked up at Dembe curiously, as he gently set Liz down on the couch.

“The Mombasa Cartel forcibly addicted me. When Raymond found me, I had been addicted for the majority of my life.”

“Wow.” Ressler sat down on the couch where Liz was laying. He gently lifted her feet up and placed them on his lap, taking her boots off in the process.

“I’m going to get some ice for Elizabeth to put on her head. You need to be putting fluids in your body.” Dembe walked back into the living room with a bag of ice for Liz and a Gatorade for Ressler. “Do you want me to stay until she wakes up?”

“If you don’t mind…”

“Of course.”


	5. Chapter 5

Dembe and Ressler talked to each other until Liz woke up, discussing small things, making jokes.

“What’d I miss? What happened? Ressler?? Are you okay?” Liz shot up from the couch as she remembered Ressler was having a nightmare.

“I knock you out cold and you’re worried about me?” Ressler gave her a sad smile, moving a piece of hair out of her face.

“I will go now. I will be back in a couple of hours with your groceries. Elizabeth, you need to make sure that he keeps drinking.” Dembe nodded to them both and walked out, locking the door before he left. 

“Liz, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Maybe...maybe it's best if you didn’t stay here with me.” Ressler hung his head as tears formed in his eyes. 

Liz moved into a sitting position and put a hand on his shoulder. “Ress, I told you that I would help you through this and I wouldn’t let you push me away. You didn’t even know what you were doing. You were having a nightmare, I can’t be mad at you for that. I’ve done the same thing before. I even hit Hudson so hard one time that he wouldn’t let me pet him for two days. Don’t beat yourself up about this.”

“But what if I get so mad and desperate during the withdrawal that I lash out at you? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt you again.” Ressler was so fucking tired of crying in front of his partner. He just couldn’t help it.

“Ressler I am a big girl, I can handle it. Hell, if I can’t I will call Dembe and he can help me. It’s not like he’s going to judge you.” Liz patted Ressler’s hand gently.

Ressler nodded his head in defeat. The truth was, he really needed her right now. He had come to depend on her during the last couple of months, especially since Audrey died. He hadn’t told anyone about her pregnancy though, not even Liz.

“I don’t think I can go back to sleep now”

“Okay well, why don’t we turn on a movie or something?” 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he said as he grabbed the remote. He turned on his favorite movie and settled in. It wasn’t long before he felt a little pressure on his arm. He looked over to see Liz leaning against him, asleep, dead to the world. He felt guilty, making her lose sleep. He knew that she didn’t get much sleep as it was, and now he had kept her up because of his stupid addiction. 

Ressler gently held her shoulders and eased her down so her head was on the couch. He picked her feet up so they were resting in her lap, grabbing a blanket from behind him to cover her up. 

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispered, stroking her leg just a little bit. 

Liz gave a small sigh of contentment and snuggled further into the blanket. 

**

Ressler was still awake several hours later when Dembe knocked on the door. He slowly stood up, trying not to disturb Liz, and walked over to the door to let Dembe in. He put his finger to his mouth to signal that Liz was asleep.

Dembe nodded his head. “How are you Donald?” he whispered. 

“Well besides still feeling guilty about knocking Liz out, I still feel like shit,” he chuckled a little at his own dark humor.

Dembe walked into the kitchen to help Ressler put the groceries away. Once they had put everything away, he thanked Dembe and walked him to the door, locking it behind him.

Ressler walked into the kitchen to make himself some coffee when he heard Liz moving on the couch. 

Liz gave a little mewl of worry, tossing in her sleep a little. Ressler padded over to her to check on her.

“Ress? Ress…” Liz mumbled in her sleep, a concerned look growing on her face. She whimpered a little louder, concerning Ressler. He placed a hand on her hair, hoping the warmth of his hand would calm her down. 

“Ressler!” Liz cried, still asleep.

“Liz, it's okay. Shh, I’m right here,” Ressler shook her a little bit, kneeling down in front of her on the couch. 

Liz woke with a start, coming face to face with Ressler. She looked at him with relief and tears in her eyes, glad that her nightmare was just a nightmare.

“I thought... um...I thought I had lost you back in the woods. That's what I was dreaming about…” 

Ressler just nodded unsure of what to say. He put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a little comforting rub. 

“Do you want some coffee?” 

“Oh my God, yes. The way to my heart,” Liz chuckled at her own sarcastic comment.

Ressler chuckled and walked to the kitchen and grabbed the mug he had made for himself, and made a mug for her. He walked back to the living room and handed Liz hers. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a while until Liz’s stomach growled, causing Ressler to laugh. Ironically, his stomach growled shortly after hers did, causing them both to laugh. 

“Let me shower and then I can take us to get some breakfast?” Liz asked him.

“Yes, please. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”

Liz nodded and got up, looking around for her bag that Dembe had brought.

Without even looking up from the newspaper that Dembe had brought him, “It’s in my room.”

Liz laughed. He knew her so well.


	6. Chapter 6

Liz grabbed the toiletries from her bag that Mr. Kaplan had packed. She silently thanked Reddington for having a female in his organization. She would feel creeped out if he had to go through her delicates. She got what she needed for a shower and padded to the bathroom, turning the water on. She made quick work of brushing her teeth. 

Liz stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over her for a moment before beginning to wash the previous day off herself. Once she felt sufficiently clean, she washed her face and hair and turned the water off. She reached out for her towel only to realize that she didn't have one. She groaned. 

"Ressler!" Liz called out, hoping that he would hear her. 

"Liz? Are you okay?" Ressler called from outside the door.

"Uhg. Yes I'm fine but...I forgot to grab a towel." She was glad that he couldn't see her blushing.

Ressler laughed, he actually laughed. "Okay, okay I'll get you one." Ressler walked to his linen cabinet and grabbed two towels. He had learned from Audrey that females required two towels--one for their hair and one for their body.

"I'm opening the door" Ressler called. The last thing he needed was to see her naked, simply because he would then have to be around her and know what she looked like naked. He really didn't have the will power for that.

"Okay. Thank you, sorry!" 

Ressler laid the two towels down on the toilet and left the bathroom.

Liz grabbed the towels and dried off, quickly realizing her second mistake--she didn't grab her clothes before she came into the bathroom. She sighed. Her head was not quite awake this morning. She opened the door to the bathroom, hoping that maybe she could slip into Ressler's bedroom without him seeing her. She didn't have that kind of luck though. When she stepped out of the bathroom, she saw Ressler in the kitchen making more coffee.

Ressler turned around in time to see her slipping out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. She didn't see that he had turned around before she disappeared from view. The few second glimpse he got of her almost naked was burned into his brain, not that he minded. He wondered what it would be like to see her completely naked.

_What if that towel had slipped down a little when she came out of the bathroom?_

"Fuck" he mumbled under his breath as he realized that he was losing control of his thoughts. _Get it together dumbass. She's trying to help you._

He sat at the kitchen table holding his coffee mug when he realized his hands were shaking.

He had been focused on Liz in the last couple of hours and hadn't realized that he would have been due for another dose of Oxycontin. His heart rate picked up as he began panicking, knowing that he couldn't have anything. He had to do this though, he knew that, but it didn't stop him from panicking. His vision got a little blurry as the panic began to take him over. He stood up and started pacing, running his hands through his hair, rubbing at his face. It was all the symptoms of withdrawal. He knew it was. He grabbed onto the counter, trying to steady himself, calm himself down. He was losing it, the fog of his addiction was clouding his vision, his hearing, his mind, everything. 

"Ressler! Ressler!" The worry in Liz's voice finally broke through to him.

He looked up at her, his vision clearing, the panic still there. "Liz...it hurts" his voice was so full of pain that it brought tears to Liz's eyes.

"What hurts Ress?"

Ressler looked at her, tears in his eyes, and whispered, "Everything."


	7. Chapter 7

“Okay, okay. It’s going to be fine. Let's get you something to eat and see if we can’t take your mind off the cravings okay?” Liz had walked over to Ressler and put her hand on his back, rubbing it up and down, trying to comfort him. 

Ressler nodded his head and stood up. He grabbed a sweatshirt and put it on. He followed Liz out the door and into the elevator and tried to focus on something else. He noticed she was wearing a pair of black leggings and an oversized long sleeve shirt. She wore a pair of boots with it. Her hair was damp, something he had never seen before unless it had gotten wet when they were in the field. His eyes wandered down her body and he noticed the nice shape of her ass. Something he had never even considered looking at before.

_ You definitely shouldn’t be doing that now.  _

He shook his head slightly and realized they were out at her car. He got in and buckled himself up, realizing that his hands were still shaking. It wasn’t nearly as bad as earlier and the panic had subsided so that he barely noticed it now. 

Liz looked over at him. “What are you thinking about?”

Ressler chuckled a little. “Something that is taking my mind off my current situation.”

Liz looked at him curiously, wondering what it was he was thinking about. She assumed it was memories of Audrey.

Ressler kept thinking about Liz. The different aspects of their partnership. He couldn’t think of Audrey because he knew he would think about their unborn child and the promise he had made to her that he wouldn’t become addicted to the Oxycontin. That would just throw him back into his panic attack, knowing he had broken that promise. 

“Thinking about Audrey?” Liz quietly asked him.

Ressler’s breath caught in his throat a little bit, tears forming once again in his eyes.

He gave Liz a sad smile and shook his head. “I can’t think about her right now. I made her a promise that I wouldn’t let myself become addicted to the Oxys. I promised her…” Ressler went quiet for a second, gathering the strength to say the last part.

“Ressler, you don’t have to tell me.” 

“No, I know...but I have to tell someone. I’ve kept this to myself since she died and it's part of the reason I depended on the pills...I promi-promised her I wouldn’t get addicted for...for the sake of our child.” Ressler hiccuped and his body was wracked with silent sobs. He hadn’t properly grieved the loss of his unborn child and that's another reason why he had become so addicted. 

Liz was stunned. She didn’t know what to say. She pulled into an abandoned gas station and parked her car. She got out and walked over to Ressler’s side of the car, opening the door, and unbuckling him. She threw her arms around him and held him while he cried. Cried for the loss of his fiance, his unborn child, his addiction, everything that he had never properly grieved in the last couple of months. Ressler held onto Liz like his life depended on it. She cradled his head and pressed her cheek against the top of his head, running her fingers through his hair. She realized he wasn't in any condition to go to a diner so she called Baz.

“Baz hey I need a huge favor”

“Anything for my favorite woman”

Liz could hear the smile in his voice. They had grown closer when Tom was still threatening to kill her. He would stay in the hotel room next to hers wherever she went. At first she didn’t like the idea but she eventually accepted it. She would invite him over for pizza or tacos frequently and they would watch trashy sitcoms. Once Liz had accepted the fact that Baz would be there no matter what she said to Red about it, she began sleeping easier. Oftentimes, Baz would carry her to her bed in the hotel room on nights that he would have dinner with her. On nights that they didn't eat together, she would knock on her wall twice as a way of saying goodnight. One night, when she fell asleep before knocking, he busted into her room guns blazing ready to kill anything that got in his way. Liz chuckled at the memory. 

“I’m with Ressler. I need you to go to the diner we used to go to and get my regular order and then something for Ressler. Please?” 

“Of course. Everything okay?”

“No, not really but we’re working on it. You know where his apartment is right?”

“Yeah. I’m leaving now. I’ll be there a bit.”

“Thank you Baz, you’re the best!”

“Ress, I’m gonna take you back home okay? Ress?” Liz realized he had cried himself to sleep and she smiled a little. She placed him back into his seat and walked back to her side of the car. She headed back to his house. It took about 20 minutes to get there and she ended up pulling in at the same time Baz did. She saw him and waved him over. He embraced her as soon as he had made his way over. It had been a couple of months since they had seen each other in person. 

“What's going on? Red told me to be on standby for you but he didn’t tell me what was going on.”

“Ress got kidnapped in Sitka by some members of the Mombasa Cartel. They tagged him and they sent him off running through the woods to be hunted. It was awful and we’re dealing with some other things too.”

Baz looked at Ressler who had since gotten out of the car and was bent over. 

Liz heard him get out of the car and saw him bend over, beginning to retch.

“He’s fighting withdrawal isn't he?” BAz looked at Ressler with sympathy. It was something that soldiers go through at some point in their life.

“Is it  that obvious?” Liz looked at him.

“Only to the trained eye. Need help getting him up the stairs?”

“If you don’t mind,” Liz sighed. She wasn’t going to tell Don that Baz knew. She knew Baz wouldn’t tell anybody. Liz handed her keys to Baz and walked over to Ressler.

“C’mon big guy, let's get you upstairs, hmm?”

Ressler nodded his head gratefully and leaned against her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 


	8. Chapter 8

Baz unlocked the door to Ressler’s apartment and let Liz walk Ressler in. He went to the kitchen to search for plates to put their food on. Baz returned with the food and some water from both of them.

“Do you need me to stay awhile?” Baz asked Liz.

“No, I think we’ll be okay for now. But I’ll call you if anything happens. Thank you so much.” Liz smiled at him. She trusted Baz with her life and knew he’d be there if she needed him.

Baz smiled at Liz and left the apartment. 

“Ress, try to eat some. It might make you feel better.”

Liz pushed the plate of food towards him and opened the bottle of water for him. 

“Not hungry.”

“Please try to eat,” Liz begged him. She knew that the withdrawal wasn't giving him much of an appetite but he still needed to eat.

Ressler grunted a little and picked up a small piece of bacon. He munched on it a little bit while Liz dug into her breakfast. Suddenly Ressler was up off the couch and running toward the bathroom, holding his mouth.

Liz ran after him, grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet on her way. She got it wet with cold water and leaned beside him, wiping his forehead with the cloth.

“Please...go. You shouldn’t have to see me like this,” Ressler tried pushing her hand away but he was weak from the withdrawal. 

Liz just sat down beside him and went to place her hand on his back but he flinched away from her. She was a little hurt by the action but tried her best to hide it.

“My skin...it feels like it's on fire” Ressler all but ripped off his shirt, trying to get everything off his skin. Liz nodded and wet the washcloth with cold water and placed it on his back.

Ressler sighed in relief as the coolness of the cloth cooled his skin down.

“Why don’t you try a cold shower? I can feel the heat rolling off you Ress, you’re burning up.”

“I don’t think I can even stand up Liz. I think I may just lay here on the tile.”

“c’mon, let's get you up and into a cold bath. It will feel good. We’ve gotta get your body temperature down.” LIz held out her hands for him to grab onto and stand up. He grabbed them and pulled himself up, closing the toilet and sitting down. Liz turned on the water and clogged the drain to let the water fill the tub. She looked over to see Ressler fumbling with his belt. She could see him getting more and more frustrated as his hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

“God Damnit. I can’t even get my belt unbuckled. I don’t know if I can do this Liz.” Ressler’s voice broke.

Liz moved over to him and placed her hands on top of his, “Let me help you, Don.” Liz looked up at him. His face was filled with despair and shame. She knew he was having a hard time accepting that he needed help just to get his pants off. 

Ressler moved his hands and ran them through his hair, nodding at Liz to admit his defeat. She gently unbuckled his belt and slid the belt through the loops of his pants. She placed the belt on the floor beside her and moved her hands to the button of his jeans. 

Ressler’s heart started pounding in his chest as Liz gently unbuttoned his pants. He sucked in a small breath as she slowly unzipped his pants. She stood up and motioned for him to stand up as well. Ressler slowly stood up but his legs were weak and he nearly fell. Liz quickly grabbed him and placed him on the edge of his tub.

“Can you take your pants off?”

“Yes. I can get my own damn pants off Keen, I’m not a baby.”

Liz pursed her lips, turned, and walked out of the bathroom.

“Damnit” Ressler whispered under his breath. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh but he wanted to keep some of his dignity. He also didn’t need her taking his pants off and risk his body reacting in a way that it shouldn’t be reacting. He had to get a grip on his feelings. He had pushed them away long enough having her in such close proximity wasn’t helping. He tried wiggling his pants off but realized he was going to have to stand up. He tried standing up but he ended up stumbling. He sunk down to the floor and cried, the sobs wracking his body. He was so wrapped up in his own shame that he didn’t hear Liz come back into the bathroom. 

“Ressler…” Liz got down on her knees beside him. “C’mon honey you gotta let me help you” Liz placed her hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently.

Ressler nodded at her and let her get him up off the floor.

“I’m gonna take your pants off, okay?” When Ressler didn’t say anything, she dipped her fingers into his waistband and gently pulled his pants down. She bent down to pull his pants further down his legs. “Hold onto my shoulders.” When Liz felt his hands land gently on her shoulder, she tapped one of his ankles to let him know he needed to lift it. She pulled the pants of his leg and did the same thing to the other leg. She became acutely aware that her face was right below his crotch and she tried her hardest not to think about it. She hoped that whatever Gods there were would keep the blush from coming up on her face. When she stood up, she saw Ressler watching her intensely. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Ressler rasped out. He sounded strangled like he had been screaming. But he hadn’t, he had been trying his hardest not to pop a boner right in her face. The cold bath would help with that though.

“Okay, I’m going to slide your boxers down a little and you can sit down and wiggle them off. I’ll come back in if you need help getting into the bath.” Liz knew she was blushing now, there was no way she wasn’t.

Ressler clenched his jaw and nodded. Liz slipped her thumbs inside the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down a little bit. She was entranced by his abs and the way the v-line of his hips led down to his most private area. She was so entranced that she didn’t notice she had kept pulling his boxers down.

“Liz…” Ressler’s voice was strangled and he grabbed her wrist.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Liz was beyond embarrassed. She let go of his boxers, kept her eyes on the wall behind him, and walked him toward the bathtub.

Ressler stepped out of his boxers and into the tub. Once he was in, Liz hastily walked out of the bathroom and closed the door a little too hard behind her.

“Fuck” Ressler moaned to himself. Now he had a raging boner, the woman that had caused it had just run out of his bathroom, and he was convinced that she was absolutely disgusted with him. 


	9. Chapter 9

Liz ran out of the bathroom.

_Oh my God, what have I done??_

“Get it together Keen. You’re going to have to face this.”

Liz took a few deep breaths. She walked over to the kitchen sink and splashed some cold water on her face. Her body was quickly heating up from her embarrassment. She slipped off the long sleeve shirt she was wearing, leaving her with her tank top that was underneath. She took a couple more deep breaths and walked back to the bathroom and knocked lightly before walking inside. The shower curtain was open and she could see Ressler with his head leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed. Clearly, he hadn’t heard her knock. Her eyes traveled down and she could see his dick, almost completely hard. She blushed, wondering if she had caused that.

Ressler heard movement and opened his eyes, seeing Liz walking further into the bathroom.

He jerked up, trying to close the curtain, but the damn thing got caught and he couldn't close it. He looked up at Liz, eyes wide, trained on his dick. 

She cocked her head a little bit, “Did I cause that?” she said quietly.

Ressler’s face turned bright red. “Uhh, yeah, yeah, umm...just a little.”

Liz was quiet for a moment. It was really freaking Ressler out because he couldn’t gauge what she was thinking. Usually, he could read her like a book. They had been partners for over two years now. 

“Liz, you-”

“Do you want me to fix it?” She looked at him curiously, eyes innocent, yet they held some guilt. Her face was red, the blush traveling down her neck. Ressler noticed then that she had on a tank top that showed her cleavage quite nicely. 

“Wh-what?” Ressler’s eyes followed her as she walked closer to the tub and kneeled down so she was face to face with him, looking him in the eyes.

“I caused it...do you want me to fix it?” Liz placed a hand tentatively on his chest.

Liz looked up at Ressler through her eyelashes. His pupils were blown. She really couldn’t tell if it was just because of her proposition or if he actually wanted her to touch him.

“I was...I was hoping maybe the cold water would take care of it.” Ressler’s voice was husky and it sent a shiver down Liz’s spine. She’d heard his voice husky like that before. But it was only because she had woken him up to call him in for a case. She had never been the cause of his voice being that husky, though she had thought about it before briefly. 

“Is the cold water working?” Liz slid her hand slowly down his chest, looking for anything that suggested she needed to stop.

“No” Ressler had given up on his restraint. 

He reached up to touch her cheek, “You don’t have to, Liz”

“Do you want me to?”

“God...more than you know” 

Liz’s hand was resting right above his dick. Ressler bucked his hips a little, craving touch on the most sensitive area of his body. It had been so long since he had anyone’s hand, besides his own, touch him this way. He wasn’t sure how long he would last. Liz gently grabbed his shaft and gave a gentle stroke all the way up, twisting at the top and running her thumb over his slit. Ressler’s eyes rolled back a little and he let out a small moan, spurring Liz on. She moved her hand down his shaft again, going slow, wanting to savor the look of pure bliss on his face. She wanted to prolong this for as long as she could, hoping that it would be a distraction from his current pain. Well, that wasn’t the only reason she wanted to do this. She had to admit, being in such close quarters with him the last couple of days had been wearing on the walls she had built up to close off the feelings she had for him. 

Liz squeezed the base of his cock a little, causing his hips to buck into her hand.

“Liz...please...” Ressler almost whimpered, unable to finish his sentence. Liz understood what he was trying to say though and she picked up her pace.

“I know, I know honey” Liz placed her other hand in his hair, running her fingers through it gently. Ressler groaned as he felt the calming motions of both her hands spread through his body. She quickened the pace of her hand moving up and down the shaft of his hard cock, twisting at the top and thumbing his slit expertly. 

“ _Fuck_ ” Ressler whispered under his breath, he could feel his muscles tightening and that familiar knot beginning to form in his stomach. He grabbed the sides of the bathtub and held on with a death grip, feeling that if he didn’t he wouldn’t be sure if this was all just some twisted dream his mind was creating. 

“Fuck, Liz, I’m gonna…” Ressler groaned, trying and failing to finish his sentence.

“Shh, come on, cum for me Don.”

Ressler had never heard anything so hot come out of his partner’s mouth before. It was enough to send him over the edge, cumming hard with a shout of her name. But Liz wasn’t done yet. She stroked him all the way through his orgasm until he was shaking, pleasure coursing through his body. 

Liz stroked his neck, enjoying the blissed-out smile on his face. She reached over and pulled the plug from the drain. Once it was drained, she turned the water back on, letting it reach a lukewarm temperature before she plugged the drain again. She grabbed a washcloth and put some of Ressler’s body wash on it, soaping it up. She looked at Ressler who was watching her with hooded eyes, still feeling the pleasure from his orgasm. She began slowly washing his body off, doing a swipe of his semi-hard dick, making him squirm a little and let out a small whimper from the sensitivity. Once she was satisfied that he was clean, she rinsed the washcloth and washed the soap off him. She grabbed his shampoo next, massaging his scalp, and working the shampoo through his hair. Ressler groaned a little, enjoying the feeling of her hands running through his hair. After she had rinsed it all out, she looked at him.

“Feel any better?” 

“Yeah. It's uhh... it's been a while.”

Liz nodded her head and smiled at him, glad that could give him some relief.

“Are you ready to get out?”

“Yeah, I am.”

Liz grabbed the towel from the rack and helped him out of the tub. She handed him the towel and stood by the door as he slowly dried himself off. He began walking toward the door but his legs were shaky, this time for different reasons. 

Liz was shocked as she saw Ressler reach out for her to steady himself. She thought he wouldn’t want to show that kind of weakness. Regardless, she quickly walked over to him and wrapped an arm around his back, feeling goosebumps rise on his skin at her touch. She smirked inwardly to herself, glad to see she had this kind of effect on him now. When she got to Ressler to his bedroom, she sat him down. Suddenly she had a very inappropriate idea and she wanted to act on it but decided it was best not to.

When Liz turned to leave, Ressler grabbed her hand to stop her.

“Wait…”

“What is it, Ress?” She could see the conflict in his eyes, he was debating something.

“I want...umm…” Ressler looked away, unsure of himself.

Liz walked back closer to him and kneeled down so she could be level with him. “Tell me what you want Don,” she said so softly, so sultry, it surprised even herself.

Liz rested her hands on his thighs to steady herself. When she heard the sharp breath he took, she moved them up a little further, rubbing her thumbs along the insides of his thigh. 

“Is this what you want?” Liz’s voice dropped an octave, sparking an interest in Ressler’s growing member.

“Mmhm. Yes, yes” Ressler looked down at her. She was so beautiful, sitting there between his legs, face flushed, pupils blown, eyes wide. It was hot and Ressler wanted to see more of her. He reached down and gently cupped her face.

“God... how can someone look so innocent and so sexy at the same time?” Liz leaned into his touch, enjoying the softness and warmth it brought. He reached down towards the bottom of her shirt.

“Can I?” He asked, pulling on her tank top.

Liz slowly nodded her head and lifted her arms up for him. He pulled off her tank top and threw it off to the side. He sucked in a breath at the sight of her black bra and the roundness of her breasts. Liz covered her chest with her arms, self-conscious under his intense gaze.

“What are you doing? Don't hide yourself, I wanna see you.” Ressler grabbed her arms and held them by her side, trying to hold this image in his head for as long as he could. He hoped this wouldn’t be the last time he saw her in this state of undress but on the chance that it was, he wanted this moment to be etched into his memory. 

Ressler traced her lips with his thumb, moving on to her jaw until he finally got to her throat. He gently placed his hand around her throat, testing the waters. He enjoyed the shaky breath that she let out, spurring him on. He tightened his hand just a little and was thoroughly pleased with the little mewl of approval he got. He held her by the throat and pulled her up gently until she was sitting in his lap. He pulled her closer until their lips were inches apart, waiting for any sign of disapproval. When he felt her hips grind down on him a little, he closed the gap and captured her in a searing kiss. It was light, yet passionate, everything he had hoped it would be.

Liz put her arms around his neck, one hand sliding up to fist in his hair gently. Ressler groaned slightly at the action and licked across her bottom lip, requesting entry. Liz gladly let him in and let him dominate the kiss, grinding down on him with a little more force. She didn’t know how long they stayed like that but she could feel him straining against the towel that was keeping his rock hard cock trapped. She gently separated herself from him, and slid down to her knees, pulling the towel off as she went down. 

At first, Ressler panicked, thinking that Liz was starting to regret everything, But when he realized what she was doing, he relaxed. She was so fucking sexy, he just couldn’t believe his luck, getting to see this side of her. This submissive side. 

Liz gently placed a hand on his chest until he leaned back on his hands. He could still see her but it was certainly more comfortable.

Liz gently stroked his cock before she kissed the tip gently and blew on it slightly. She maintained eye contact with him, watching as he began to fall apart and she hadn't even taken him in her mouth yet. She held his eyes and took him all the way until he hit the back of her throat, humming around his cock.She smiled when he jerked at the vibration that ran through his member.

“Ahh fuck. That feels so good Liz.” Ressler gripped the sheets with his hand and used the other to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. 

Liz bobbed up and down on his cock, using her hand to expertly stroke him as well. Her other hand slowly slipped down and cupped his balls, gently massaging them. 

Ressler hadn’t noticed her hand reach down and was shocked when he felt her cupping his balls. It was something he had never felt before and his whole body jerked at the feeling. 

“Holy Fuck, Liz. Jesus fucking christ. How are you s-so good at this?” 

Liz hummed around his cock again in response to his question. She thought he would take longer to cum this time since she had already made him cum once before. She guessed she underestimated her ability because she could feel his balls begin to tighten up ever so slightly. 

“Liz...fuck, Liz” Ressler grabbed her shoulders to pull her up, trying not to cum in her mouth. But she kept going, ignoring his hands trying to stop her. 

Ressler couldn’t keep himself from cumming too much longer, trying desperately to pull her off of him. His hips jerked up into her mouth involuntarily.

“Fuck! Liz, I’m gonna cum. Fuck, fuck, fuck...ahh...Liz!” Ressler came with a shout of her name, falling back against the bed, hands gripping his hair. Liz swallowed every last drop of his cum, going all the way back down his dick one last time, causing a shudder to run through his body. She stood up and kissed his thighs, moving up to his stomach and kissing his cheek. Ressler turned his head to capture her lips, not caring that he came in her mouth.

“You’re fucking amazing,” Ressler gasped, out of breath.

“Mmmm, I try” Liz responded with a smirk on her face. She turned to walk to the kitchen to let him get dressed when he called her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

Liz turned around and gave him an incredulous look. “I was going to the kitchen to let you get dressed.”

“You’re not going anywhere. You had your fun... I want to have mine” Ressler smirked at her.

“Ress, you don’t need to do that, it's okay.” Liz smiled at him.

“Oh, um, okay. Yeah, I understand.” Ressler looked away, reaching for his towel. He suddenly felt very self-conscious, realizing that she was probably just taking pity on him. She didn’t actually want this, she just felt bad for him. He couldn’t help the tears that pricked at his eyes.

“Ress, I just don’t want you to feel obligated. I want this, I’m just worried that you’ll regret it when you recover. And maybe I should’ve thought this through because now I feel like I took advantage of you while you were vulnerable. And oh my God what if I messed everything up? You’re not going to want to be my partner anymore. Oh my God,” Liz hadn’t even taken a second to think everything through. She just reacted impulsively, like she always did, and now it had gotten her in trouble.

“Liz! Look at me. I don’t think you understand. It wasn’t a request. Get your ass over here and stop second-guessing yourself.” Ressler hoped that he hadn’t misread her reactions earlier. He hoped she would respond to his demand like he thought she would.

Liz walked back over to him immediately, recognizing the dominance in his voice.

Ressler put his arms around her waist and put his hands flat on her back. He gently kissed her stomach and let his hands slowly move down to her ass, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Liz moaned a little, smiling blissfully as her panic began to subside.

“Liz I want you. You’re not taking advantage of me. If anything this is honestly keeping my mind off everything. I’ve been pushing my feelings for you away for so long, I can’t do it anymore. Not after this."

Liz looked at him, tears pricking her eyes. _Why am I so emotional?_ She nodded her head, afraid to speak for fear of crying. Ressler slowly moved his hands around to the front of her leggings and slipped his fingers under the waistband, tugging them down a little. He placed kisses as he slipped the leggings further down her legs. He smiled as he saw the matching black panties she was wearing.

“What are you smiling at?” She asked curiously.

“Your panties. They match your bra. Audrey once told me that if you undress a woman and she’s wearing matching underclothes, you didn’t get lucky, the sex was planned” 

Liz laughed wholeheartedly. “I wish I could say that was the case with me, but I just put on what Mr. Kaplan had packed in my bag. But now that I think about it, it is a little suspicious that she put matching underwear sets in my bag.” 

“Oh God, let's not mention anyone in Reddington's organization. That’s just not a mental image I need.”

“I agree. So what are you going to do about my matching lingerie?”

Ressler looked up at her, seeing the challenge in her eyes. He reached up and unhooked her bra and pulled the straps off her shoulders. He threw it into the pile with her leggings and pulled her panties off next. Once she was finally undressed, he looked at her--all of her. He grabbed her breasts gently and pinched her nipples, feeling as they turned into hard little nubs. She shuddered a little and moaned.

Ressler ran his fingers down her body stopping just before he reached her clit. He placed a hot kiss just below her navel, sucking just a little.

“Get on the bed. Now”

“Yes sir.” Liz froze, realizing what she had just said.

“What was that baby girl?”

Liz turned to face him, her face growing hot from embarrassment. 

“Say it again.” Ressler's voice was ragged. He was totally unaware of how hot he found those two simple words. 

Liz looked at him, “Yes sir”

Ressler grabbed her by the hips and threw her onto the bed, moving between her thighs. Liz opened her legs automatically for him. He dipped his head and kissed her clit gently, causing her to arch off the bed, aching for his mouth. 

“Please…”

“Shh I know baby, I’m gonna take care of you, don’t worry.” 

Liz mewled in response.

Ressler slid his fingers down her slit, amazed at how wet she was.

“You’re so wet kitten.” Ressler slipped a finger into her easily as he said it, loving the way she whined at his penetration. He worked the finger in and out of her slowly until she was pushing herself back onto his fingers. 

“Get on your hands and knees”

Liz whimpered at the loss of his finger but obliged, “Yes Sir”

“God that fucking drives me up a wall. You’re so fucking sexy Liz.” Ressler lightly smacked her ass as she turned over, earning a purr from her.

Ressler reached over into his drawer to retrieve a condom. 

“I have an IUD. Please...fuck me”

“Okay baby, okay”

Ressler lined himself up with Liz’s hole and pushed in slowly.

“God you’re so fucking tight Liz”

Liz only whimpered in response. She hadn’t been with anyone in such a long time that it hurt when he entered her at first. She hissed in pain and jerked forward a little.

“Ress...it hurts” Liz could feel tears stinging her eyes.

“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry” Ressler leaned forward and placed kisses along her back while she adjusted to him being inside her. 

“Okay, okay. I think I can take it.” 

“Are you sure baby?”

“Yes sir.”

Ressler grabbed Liz’s hips hard enough to leave bruises just so he wouldn’t slam into her.

He moved forward slowly until he was buried to the hilt. He laid across her back and reached down to rub at her clit. Liz threw her head back against his shoulder and moaned in pleasure. Ressler used the distraction to pull out of Liz and thrust back into her.

Liz cried out as the pain turned into pleasure. “Don! Fuck...harder, please...harder”

Ressler didn’t waste any time. He grabbed her hips roughly and pulled all the way out, slamming back into her roughly. He pounded into her relentlessly as she screamed out his name. He tried to hold back his dominant side but it was becoming increasingly harder.

Ressler put one hand on Liz’s shoulder and pushed her down further onto the bed.

“You belong to me now Liz. Only I get to see this side of you. Only I get to make you feel this good. Do you understand?”

“Ye-yes, sir. No one el-else.” Liz cried out as she could feel the pleasure building in her stomach. She slipped her hand down in between her legs and rubbed her clit. She felt her muscles tense up and her vision went white as the orgasm washed over her. Her whole body went limp and she felt Ressler grab her hips to hold her up.

“Fuck...Liz, I’m gonna cum.”

Liz pushed herself up onto her hands and craned her neck to look at him. “Cum in me Don”

Ressler groaned at her words. Never, had he ever, heard such words come from any woman that he had been with. Not even Audrey. His grip on her hips tightened if that was even possible. He grunted as he could feel his orgasm building in him. 

“Fuck!” He shuddered as he came harder than he had ever before. Ressler slowly pulled out of Liz and collapsed on the bed next to her. She laid her head on his chest, still shaking from her orgasm. Ressler gently stroked her arm and covered them both up with the blanket. 

“Your mine,” Ressler whispered to him.

“I’m yours.” 

Ressler smiled and kissed her on the top of the head. He fell asleep shortly after he heard her breathing even out. He was happy, happier than he had been since Audrey died. He sent up a silent prayer that Audrey approved of Liz, although he knew she would. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work that I have published. Feel free to leave comments or suggestions :)


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